Monday, June 13, 2011

MIA

So it's been awhile since I've posted anything.  I have no excuses, just lazy.

I tend to do this every so often.  For a while I'll be really active in writing - and reading others' blogs - and then I'll just disappear from cyberspace with no warning.  Why?  Fuck, I dunno.  Ok, that's a lie.  I do know.  When I'm actively using and strung out, I don't like to be in contact with my online friends.  I guess I don't want people to see just how fucked up I am.  So I stop writing, stop commenting on blogs, stop posting on facebook.  Call it shame, or whatever.

So yeah, I've been MIA the last few months while I've been bingeing.  I fess up.  Now go throw stones at me and tell me to get my shit together, you lazy good for nothing junkie.  I know you want to say it.  And I would deserve it.

I asked myself for the millionth time why I keep putting myself through this.  I'm no closer to an answer, just thought I'd come clean to you all - if anyone sees this - that I'm not clean and sober and haven't been for a few months.  Maybe throwing this out there will encourage me to try the wagon again.

Guess that's all there is to say for now.