Thursday, June 16, 2011

Dopamine


Screaming children surround us,
smiles lighting up their faces as
the roller coaster inches its way
up towards the drop o'doom;

we plunge down into the void
that spins us up and down,
loop-de-loop, over and under,
until easing into a smooth stop.

We pour out of the car,
a smile lighting up her face
as she turns to me for validation:
did I have fun too?

I plaster a smile on my face
because it's what is expected of me,
and watch the children around me
clamour to "go just one more time!"

The rush is over, but their euphoria 
will last a few hours yet.
I muse how this is considered
normal.

I wonder why this isn't enough,
why I prefer my high to this.
The slow inching of the amber liquid
into the chamber swirling with blood;

the plunge down into the void, the 
rush that spins me up and down,
loop-de-loop, over and under
until easing into a smooth peace.

My euphoria, too, will last 
a few hours yet....until
my body clamours to do it
again, "just one more time!"

She's looking at me, 
waiting for an answer.
I say "of course!" and kiss her cheek.
I don't say I'd rather have my kind of high.

copyright Steven Clark, 2011