Thursday, November 18, 2010

Aftermath after Myspace.

For that's what it's come down to, no matter how optimistic we've tried to be, no matter how much we pimped protest blogs and wrote letters of complaint to the execs, no matter that we actually attracted the attention of VP Sean Percival to the point that he personally responded to comments addressing wasn't enough.

Oh sure, I have no doubt that they'll fix some of the things we've been complaining about, but at this point who cares?  So many bloggers have left in mass exodus never to return, and I sure as hell don't believe any new people will be flocking to Myspace simply to blog now.  Our tight-knit community has been scattered to the cyberwind.

I've been so caught up in all the drama over this the last few weeks, this current week being the most frenzied emotional week of them all since this started, that I've been neglecting something very serious. 

Recovery, of course.

I feel like I've lost my family....only I haven't.  Most of us have hooked up in one way or the other by Facebook, here on Blogger, or via personal email.  So it's not like I've lost's just.... different. 

So why should that matter?  Why should the format make any difference?  We're all still hanging on, right?  Right.  But, the change has happened so fast that I'm still in a bit of shock over it all.  It's amazing how passionately we feel over the loss of our "home" on the 'Space.  Some people have even commented that their Myspace friends mean more to them than their offline friends.

Now a few years ago that would have been a red flag for some serious mental issues.....but now?  Now it makes total sense and I feel the same way about some.  The world has moved into such a virtual-texting-plugged in-online existence that yeah, these cyber friendships have evolved into something real.  I mean hey, I'm not some troll bot sitting here typing, I'm a real flesh and blood human.  So what if I never meet any of you in person?  Does that make the friendship less valid?

Anyway....back to recovery....

I'll admit that this has shaken me up quite a bit.  I've been drinking massively every night this week and have chosen to ignore my sober strategies to deal with stress.  I've barely slept for shit and have been relying on heavy caffeiene to get through the day.  I've been eating like shit, or not eating at all.  Consequently, I feel like utter shit.  I even fucking dreamed of shit last that's messed up.

So now that the worst of the massive drama is over and calming down, I need to figure out how to mentally move foward from this upheaval.  And take better care of myself.  And....and....etc. etc. 

My goals for this coming weekend are thus:

  • stay sober
  • get real sleep
  • eat healthy
  • get some exercise
  • focus on the positives
  • remember I am powerless over all the Myspace shit, focus on things I can change.


  1. Well I know exactly how you feel. I don't drink (just can't, no ill effects just done't) but I tried to eat today was starved, and could not
    My mental issues are different than yours, but still - nothing gets done
    I need joy in my life and this was it. I am so fucking tired of having joy taken away from me all the fucking time

  2. just gotta stick together, that's all. thanks for reading me here hon.

  3. Even though I haven't been on the spazz in quite a while...I was able to read many posts and blogs about the changes...and I really found it hard to believe that bloggers weren't making up a good portion of their numbers. Maybe it changed a lot since I was there...but I doubt it.

    I am glad for the two groups I joined on FB which is they Myspace bloggers group and Dawn's writing group. It has put me back in touch with so many people who I've missed since leaving the space. In a way, that is a good thing. Now trying to figure a way to follow everyone...again :)

    Great goals you've set for take care of yourself first and foremost.

    And of course glad to reconnect here :)

  4. I too find it hard to believe that bloggers didn't make up most of their membership....ah well. They can kiss my arse.

    I'm glad most of us have been able to keep in touch too, in one way or another. I might check out some of the other sites people are talking about, myboomer and sitemodel, but i don't think there's gonna be anything that replaces what we had at MS.

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