Sunday, November 7, 2010



Watching life from the sidelines

Everyone laughing and smiling

Watching football games with mates

or having dinner with friends

Everyone putting on a mask

to hide their realities.

I learned about masks long ago

how it can save, protect, and make one

feel included in the masses.

But lately the mask has been torn

and it's getting harder to wear

Who am I trying to fool, and

Who am I trying to hide from?

Myself?  Or them?



  1. I like this... a lot, and I can relate. The feeling of being in a crowded room and feeling totally alone. Take care, Steven. \m/

  2. First Steven, I have to giggle. I love your "Who I stalk" list ♥

    When people write poetry, I never know if they are sub-texting a personal emotion or writing in general. So I am slow to address them personally with, for example, "advice". Instead, I try to share myself and my experience. (You know the drill, right?)

    There came a time in my life when I asked the same questions of myself. "Who am I hiding from? Them? Or myself?" and suddenly...well....maybe better stated, subtly it occurred to me that was, indeed, both. But more importantly, I realized how frigging ridiculous I was to live like that. But see, it was about that same time I learned how incredibly beautiful and unique I was made. So, if that being true, then why was I hiding it? Yes, I had a shitty story to tell. But it was mine whether I hid it or denied it. It just was! So, instead of hiding it...I began to tell it. It's that rigorous honesty stuff. It was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life. I cried in front of a lot of people. I admitted some bad stuff. And every time I told it, something different creeped up from my memory. Eventually, I got to where I had taken a hard look at so many occurrences and people in my life. I had to reevaluate everything and it made me sick to see my part in all of it and to see how my choices guided my damn life story. So then I went thru being so mad at ME. Then I forgave me. Then, I found some freedom. I came out of hiding so to speak and thus, I came to be okay with me and my life. Now when I am means I am literally alone.

    thanks for they say!

    love, love

  3. Kev: thanks mate!

    Paige: it was both - personal and general writing - in this case. Advice well heeded. I think this will be something I struggle with all my life, an ongoing process.

  4. I think I've missed your writing since I left the space...because this reminded me of how talented you are as a writer. :)

    On being alone...I've been to that point of looking around me and wondering why I felt like a movie was playing before my eyes and I'm only in the picture because my head is in front of the projector bulb. Lately, it has been just the opposite though...I haven't had enough time alone and I find myself craving sometime to just be.

    Cheers, Jenn.

  5. Jenn: "to just be".....I get that too. Sometimes I find myself craving attention and when I get it I shy away. It's an interesting fine line.