Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Who Am I? Blogging Lounge #1

Who Am I?

"You're a pathetic waste of time."          No, I'm not.

"You're nothing but a failure at everything you touch.        No, I'm not.

"You know you'll give in sooner or later, you always do."          Not for today, I won't.

"Your father was right, you're weak."           Sometimes, yes.  But I'm also strong.

"You know you want it, you dream about it all the time."          Sometimes, yes.  But I also know it's just a dream.

"Your veins are salivating right now just thinking about it....you want to get high."          Sometimes, yes.  But I know it's just a lie and a false happiness.

"You'll feel better if you do it."           Perhaps briefly.  But I know now that the consequences aren't worth it.

"You've never been able to succeed at staying clean long, because you're a such a weak failure."        And yet I keep on trying.

"You're a disgrace to manhood, you even cry at night."           Embracing, not burying, my emotions makes me stronger.

"Your father wished you'd never been born."           And yet I'm the one still here, alive and kicking.

"You're such a loser."             No, the fact I'm still alive after all these years makes me a winner.

"Who the fuck are you?"         I am a survivor.

Submitted for the Blogging Lounge topic #1, "Who Am I?"
(Thank you Ariana Browning for continuing the work of GBE under this new incarnation!)



23 comments:

  1. Yes! You are. And I am so happy to say a damned fine talented survivor. We both know an addict lives moment to moment and one day at a time and you are ALIVE and for this day...in control and strong. One day, this one day it's all good.

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    1. Ah Jo, thanks my friend. And thanks for letting me know about the new group, I'll try to pull my head out of my arse and wrote more often. And visit everyone else's blogs too! ;)

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  2. Yes you are Stephen - great to read you again

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  3. I am proud of you! Survivor and a winner in my eyes. One day, minute at a time.

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    1. Thanks, whoever you are (Ileene?) ;)

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  4. You are awesome, day by day. Keep on rockin'.

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  5. This packs a punch! I'm really glad you joined us and have been so inspired. Man though. I think you conspired with my inner demons who try to keep me down with those thoughts. Goodness. You are fantastic. Great first prompt!

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    1. Thank you, I debated on whether to be so dark on the first one, but that's who I am.

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    2. I'm glad you stuck with it. Authentic. Which is always good. Though I don't ever see you as anything but sweet and funny. Smart, too.

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  6. Was wondering if you’d do one. You are an amazing man (and yeah pull your head out of your arse)

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  7. Powerful style you put this together with Steven. The internal dialogue is something that most people can relate to, even if their addiction is not a drug. It's nice to meet you, read you, hope to see more from you. Keep it up!

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  8. i love you. you inspire me. authentic and honest writing. A+

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    1. Love you too, luv......where is your own blog lately? I miss your ruminating on life.

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  9. Yay for surviving! A lot of people have given others false messages. The key is to not listen.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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    1. I like to think that I'm getting better at tuning those inner dialogues out. Some days are better than others. Thanks Joyce.

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  10. This was great! I have quietly observed many of my fellow bloggers and yes... you ARE a survivor, Steven.

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  11. you said dark but it is rather more light in my eyes as it is light confronting dark and winning at least today...very powerful and a reminder of the strength you keep finding X

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  12. I can't think of words to convey mu thoughts. So I'll say I believe in you and so glad to be friends with a SURVIVOR. Good blog Steven

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